Strange Sexual Taboos Around The World
I found this article and felt it appropriate for this blog. Enjoy!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Ariel Rebel � Red Rose | Pancho Dog | 88Gals.com -Naked Teens - Porn - Nude Teens - Free Porn - Free Porno - Porn Videos
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Ariel Rebel - Ariel Rebel fishnet stockings at AmateurIndex.com
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Thursday, December 20, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
SKUGHOFEY THE BABY BOY: Sasha Grey Reads To Elementary Students?
SKUGHOFEY THE BABY BOY: Sasha Grey Reads To Elementary Students?
I found this article on another blog and I thought I'd post it on mine. Enjoy!
I found this article on another blog and I thought I'd post it on mine. Enjoy!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
IN DEFENSE OR PORNOGRAPHY OR SO-CALLED PORNOGRAPHY: A COMMENTARY
In spite of our increasingly jaded and seemingly more permissive society, pornography or so-called pornography is still a hot button issue for some, including--but not limited to--right-wing politicians, so-called “Christian” fundamentalists and even left-wing--often radical--feminists. These entities have strived for years, decades even, to either totally eradicate pornography or so-called pornography or at least severely limit its distribution. However, with the advent of home video and especially the porn-saturated Internet, that’s becoming increasingly more and more difficult to do. Porn or so-called porn has been blamed for a whole slew of society’s ills, real or perceived, including--but not limited to--rape, child abuse and, my own personal favorite, so-called sex and/or porn addiction. These groups cite several supposed “studies” that supposedly show a definitive “link” between porn and these “ills” of society. Of course, these “studies” have often been “conducted” by those closely “affiliated” with these particular groups. Not to mention the fact that there have been an equal number of “studies” done that shows there is absolutely NO definite “link” between these problems and porn or so-called porn. For example, there was Kutchinsky’s landmark study in Denmark that was conducted back in 1973 that showed there was a significant drop in the number of sex crimes, including rape and child molestation, after the “legalization” of all types of pornography in that country. And then there’s a country like Japan, which consumes far more depraved and violent pornography than what is sometimes even “legally” allowed in this country, and their instances of sex crimes, including rape and child molestation, are almost nonexistent compared to America’s (and the same goes for violent crime in general). So, the question remains, why is that?
Many--or most--of the aforementioned groups cite serial killers like the infamous Ted Bundy, who infamously declared how “porn made me do it” to noted fundamentalist anti-porn zealot James C. Dobson the night before his richly-deserved execution, for their anti-porn stances. Never mind that fact that Ted Bundy was a psychopathic liar who blamed a whole slew of things on why he murdered all those women (including a young girl), including--but not limited to--detective magazines (not pornographic magazines), lack of sleep, the Devil and even on The Almighty as he reportedly told FBI profilers how killing all those women--including that young girl--made him feel like God. Plus, with the “adult” industry being a multi-billion dollar a year business in this country (reportedly making more money than sports and “mainstream” entertainment combined), it would make one think that there would be hundreds of thousands of Ted Bundy’s walking around murdering women--and children--all the time (at least that’s what the aforesaid right-wingers and their cohorts would have you believe). I know I myself have NEVER thought about harming a woman or a child or anyone else, for that matter, in spite of my porn viewing, for lack of a better word, habit.
Which brings me to my next point: The reason or one of the reasons why I “like” pornography or so-called pornography--besides, of course, the obvious!--is because there’s no bullshit involved in it as porn or so-called porn dispels all the “romantic” notions and “religious” myths we’ve built around sex and shows people fucking for the sake of fucking. Speaking of myths and notions surrounding the subject of porn or so-called porn, another argument against porn is how it’s supposedly “degrading” towards women and that women who choose to do porn were somehow molested or otherwise abused when they were younger. But I’ve noticed how that argument is rarely ever used against the men who star in porn films, that male porn stars are being “degraded” and how they were “abused” as children. In fact, male porn stars, unlike their female counterparts, are often looked up to. I mean, just look at the way the late John Holmes is still revered in spite of the fact that he had a horrendous personal life, e.g. dying of AIDS and his possibly being "involved" in a brutal murder, because he had a big wang and he got to make his "living" fucking beautiful women on-camera. This all goes back to the notion, spearheaded by “conservatives” and even their strange bedfellow allies in the so-called feminist movement, that “good girls” aren’t supposed to do things like star in porn movies so there must be something “wrong” with them either in their character--or lack thereof--or in their childhood. I’ve seen the blatant hypocrisy of this notion myself at various times; like, for instance, one guy I encountered on a social media site--I, of course, won’t say which one--constantly harped on me about my “liking” porn even though he himself had “liked” a couple of porn stars’s pages. Noted TV blowhard Dr. Phil once denounced ALL men who "looked" at porn on his show as being "sick & twisted & abnormal" and whatnot. Shortly thereafter, his eldest son married a former Playboy Playmate who not only appeared dropped & spread for Playboy but she also appeared "in ze buff" with her twin siblings--i.e. the Dahm Triplets--at the reported behest of their very own father. (Nope, nothing "sick & twisted & abnormal" about THAT!) Noted right-wing gasbag Bill O’Reilly--who himself had written a book where a drug-addicted teen prostitute gives oral sex to her pimp--once denounced then-porn star Jenna Jameson as a “slut” and a “whore” while he was interviewing her on his show on Fox (Non) News and then afterwards, according to Jenna (which Bill never denied doing, by the way), he actually “requested” some of her videos. Bullshitter Bill, in spite of his “request,” would later denounce Miss Jameson as a “quasi-prostitute” when she did a sneaker ad. (This was, of course, before he was caught on tape attempting to fuck one of his female employees in the shower with a falafel.)
Going back to the notion that porn is somehow "degrading" towards women and whatnot, according to statistics, about half (or more) of all people who consume pornography or so-called pornography on a regular basis are in fact women (although women call their porn "erotica"). The phenomenal success of the "erotic" book series 50 Shades Of Grey--not to mention Harlequin Blaze (which I affectionately refer to as Wal-Mart porn!)--is ample proof of that!
I, of course, understand that pornography or so-called pornography is not to everyone’s liking just like religion is likewise not to everyone’s liking (even though that doesn’t stop right-wing politicians and their allies in the “fundamentalist” crowd to try to shape our country’s laws on their own supposed religious beliefs--”gay” marriage and abortion, anyone?--and/or keep the Jehovah’s Witnesses from showing up at my damned door). I also find it rather interesting when these “religious” types always cite the Bible to likewise justify their anti-porn stances when the Bible is filled with lurid tales of rape, incest and even child slavery involving female virgin children. To paraphrase onetime Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart (reread my post “The Politics Of Porn“), pornography is definitely indeed in the eyes--or erections!--of the beholder! By the way, you want to know the "difference" between pornography and so-called erotica? Erotica uses a few more colorful euphemisms for the naughty parts!
Many--or most--of the aforementioned groups cite serial killers like the infamous Ted Bundy, who infamously declared how “porn made me do it” to noted fundamentalist anti-porn zealot James C. Dobson the night before his richly-deserved execution, for their anti-porn stances. Never mind that fact that Ted Bundy was a psychopathic liar who blamed a whole slew of things on why he murdered all those women (including a young girl), including--but not limited to--detective magazines (not pornographic magazines), lack of sleep, the Devil and even on The Almighty as he reportedly told FBI profilers how killing all those women--including that young girl--made him feel like God. Plus, with the “adult” industry being a multi-billion dollar a year business in this country (reportedly making more money than sports and “mainstream” entertainment combined), it would make one think that there would be hundreds of thousands of Ted Bundy’s walking around murdering women--and children--all the time (at least that’s what the aforesaid right-wingers and their cohorts would have you believe). I know I myself have NEVER thought about harming a woman or a child or anyone else, for that matter, in spite of my porn viewing, for lack of a better word, habit.
Which brings me to my next point: The reason or one of the reasons why I “like” pornography or so-called pornography--besides, of course, the obvious!--is because there’s no bullshit involved in it as porn or so-called porn dispels all the “romantic” notions and “religious” myths we’ve built around sex and shows people fucking for the sake of fucking. Speaking of myths and notions surrounding the subject of porn or so-called porn, another argument against porn is how it’s supposedly “degrading” towards women and that women who choose to do porn were somehow molested or otherwise abused when they were younger. But I’ve noticed how that argument is rarely ever used against the men who star in porn films, that male porn stars are being “degraded” and how they were “abused” as children. In fact, male porn stars, unlike their female counterparts, are often looked up to. I mean, just look at the way the late John Holmes is still revered in spite of the fact that he had a horrendous personal life, e.g. dying of AIDS and his possibly being "involved" in a brutal murder, because he had a big wang and he got to make his "living" fucking beautiful women on-camera. This all goes back to the notion, spearheaded by “conservatives” and even their strange bedfellow allies in the so-called feminist movement, that “good girls” aren’t supposed to do things like star in porn movies so there must be something “wrong” with them either in their character--or lack thereof--or in their childhood. I’ve seen the blatant hypocrisy of this notion myself at various times; like, for instance, one guy I encountered on a social media site--I, of course, won’t say which one--constantly harped on me about my “liking” porn even though he himself had “liked” a couple of porn stars’s pages. Noted TV blowhard Dr. Phil once denounced ALL men who "looked" at porn on his show as being "sick & twisted & abnormal" and whatnot. Shortly thereafter, his eldest son married a former Playboy Playmate who not only appeared dropped & spread for Playboy but she also appeared "in ze buff" with her twin siblings--i.e. the Dahm Triplets--at the reported behest of their very own father. (Nope, nothing "sick & twisted & abnormal" about THAT!) Noted right-wing gasbag Bill O’Reilly--who himself had written a book where a drug-addicted teen prostitute gives oral sex to her pimp--once denounced then-porn star Jenna Jameson as a “slut” and a “whore” while he was interviewing her on his show on Fox (Non) News and then afterwards, according to Jenna (which Bill never denied doing, by the way), he actually “requested” some of her videos. Bullshitter Bill, in spite of his “request,” would later denounce Miss Jameson as a “quasi-prostitute” when she did a sneaker ad. (This was, of course, before he was caught on tape attempting to fuck one of his female employees in the shower with a falafel.)
Going back to the notion that porn is somehow "degrading" towards women and whatnot, according to statistics, about half (or more) of all people who consume pornography or so-called pornography on a regular basis are in fact women (although women call their porn "erotica"). The phenomenal success of the "erotic" book series 50 Shades Of Grey--not to mention Harlequin Blaze (which I affectionately refer to as Wal-Mart porn!)--is ample proof of that!
I, of course, understand that pornography or so-called pornography is not to everyone’s liking just like religion is likewise not to everyone’s liking (even though that doesn’t stop right-wing politicians and their allies in the “fundamentalist” crowd to try to shape our country’s laws on their own supposed religious beliefs--”gay” marriage and abortion, anyone?--and/or keep the Jehovah’s Witnesses from showing up at my damned door). I also find it rather interesting when these “religious” types always cite the Bible to likewise justify their anti-porn stances when the Bible is filled with lurid tales of rape, incest and even child slavery involving female virgin children. To paraphrase onetime Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart (reread my post “The Politics Of Porn“), pornography is definitely indeed in the eyes--or erections!--of the beholder! By the way, you want to know the "difference" between pornography and so-called erotica? Erotica uses a few more colorful euphemisms for the naughty parts!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Ariel Rebel - Sexy Bedtime at AmateurIndex.com
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Tuesday, November 6, 2012
THE UNDEFEATED vs. WHO'S NAILIN' PAYLIN?
Hmmmm, which movie do I prefer, uh-hum, watching? The bloviating (so-called) documentary about Sarah Palin . . . or the hardcore "adult" film starring the ultra hot Lisa Ann as the "half-governor" of Alaska and Fox (Non) News blowhard and all-around (fill in the blank for yourself!)? Gee, that sure is a toughie, isn't it?
Saturday, October 27, 2012
THE 10 DIRTIEST BOOKS YOU'VE NEVER READ BEFORE a.k.a. This Ain't Oprah's F@#king Book Club!
It probably goes without saying that more-people-than-not don’t read in this country. Now I know that you probably don’t want to hear me go off on some kind of rant about how illiterate we are as a society, so I won’t bother (though you are reading this post, aren’t you?). Instead, I’ll just list ten of the dirtiest books I have read that I think are definitely worth noting. Now some—or most—of these books are more than likely out-of-print as some of them date all the way back to the mid-sixties, if you can believe it. But, if you can find a copy of ANY of these books at a yard sale or at a used book store or on eBay or some other Website on the Internet (ah, the Internet!), do yourself a humongous favor and get them even if you’re one of those countless (lazy) Americans who don’t even read a newspaper on a regular basis. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed!
Bitter Fruit
by Roy B. Sparkia—This book, which I bought for next-to-nothing at a book sale in Springfield, Missouri, has got to be one of the most if not the most politically incorrect and fucked up books I have ever read. Sadism, lesbianism, incest, and even botched illegal abortions, there’s something for everyone in this book! The book is about a young woman named Melissa who uses her feminine wiles—and then some!—to get whatever she wants from anyone (and I, of course, do mean anyone!), which, of course, all severely backfires on her in the end (which, of course, you’ll have to read the book to find out how!). The following is an excerpt from page 100 of the book: “She was one of those rare ones who not only liked it, but had an inborn talent. Different from a whore who could go through skilled movements without liking it, without feeling. And different from the other extreme—the lover who gave it plenty of feeling but was clumsy at it. This one was a kind apart. She was like a Stradivari violin that could only give out rich tones, even in the hands of a lousy fiddler, because all of that feeling, all that emotionally generated expertise she was putting into her screwing was not for her partner, but for herself.” Need I say more?
The Man From O.R.G.Y.
& Dial “O” For O.R.G.Y. by Ted Mark—These books, which I bought again for next-to-nothing at a yard sale somewhere in Arkansas (I can’t remember where), are about a secret “sex” agent named Steve Victor who can make James Bond look like a celibate monk. However, you can’t easily dismiss these novels as merely trashy smut as they’re very well-researched as to their historical and cultural facts. Think Wikipedia meets Dear Penthouse—mixed in, of course, with a little James Bond—and you’ll get an idea of what these books are like reading. So, if you prefer your literary pornography mixed in with a little history lesson (that, of course, you DIDN’T get to learn in high school!), then these books are for you (if you can still find a copy of them, that is, since they were published in 1965 and 1973, respectfully). Too bad they never made films from these books, huh?
Christmas Cards From the Edge
by various authors—This book, which is one of the newer offerings on this list, contains three novellas from three different “chick lit” authors. The first one titled Return to Sender by Lisa Cach contains one of the most explicit, uh-hum, love scenes I have ever read in one of these books (and I have actually read a number of these so-called chick lit books, if you can again believe it). You might, of course, have a much better chance of finding a copy of this particular book since it was published not that long ago (in 2005, to be exact). And, for all you guys out there who would no doubt make fun of me for reading what are normally consider women’s books, all I have to say is if you want to know what your significant other really thinks of sex, just check out her naughty book collection, especially any of those “uber” hot Harlequin Blaze books; again, trust me, you WON’T be disappointed, plus you might win some brownie—as well as other—points from said significant other if she sees you reading the same type of books that she does, if you get my meaning, and I’m sure that you do!
Orgasmizer 9000 & Other Stories
by various authors—This book, also published in 2005, is another collection of three novellas (which, for those who aren’t literary-minded, is just a fancy way of saying extra-long short story) by three different female authors. And, yes, this is the actual title of the book, which is the reason why I had to get it when I first saw it in the ladies, uh-hum, romance section at, if I remember correctly, a Borders bookstore in again Springfield, Missouri (which, if I again recall correctly, the very same Borders bookstore where Sarah “Who’s Nailin’” Palin had one of her much-ballyhooed book signings). In any case, the title is from the third and final story in the collection titled Yar & the Orgasmizer 9000 written by Marie Morin that, while actually not as sexually explicit as the other two stories—Dream Warriors by Angelique Anjou and The Sexdroid by Jaide Fox, respectfully—would still make for a, shall we say, interesting movie. And, in case you haven’t already figured it out, all three stories are of the “sci-fi” persuasion, which, of course, just goes to show that not everyone who’s into science fiction is a geeky bespectacled virginal boy.
Xaviera’s Fantastic Sex
by Xaviera Hollander—Part sex guide, part sexual autobiography, this book was written by self-proclaimed “Happy Hooker” author, former prostitute and sex advice guru Xaviera Hollander. One of the most, shall we say, memorable parts of the book for me was the chapter titled “Xaviera’s Magic Mail” where Xaviera (and please don’t ask me how to pronounce her name, all right?) reprints a handful of letters she’d received up till then, and, in one of the letters Miss Hollander calls “Ball in the Family” (from the classic TV show All in the Family—get it?), a self-described “horny as hell” woman whose husband had been MIA (Missing in Action) in Vietnam has—how shall I put this discreetly?—inappropriate thoughts about her teenaged son which began after he, as she put it in the letter, “got a bad cut in his groin, right next to the scrotum” (ouch!) and she had to change his dressing daily and, as a result, she begins—again, how do I put this discreetly?—playing around with him. Anyway, the mother asks Xaviera if she felt it appropriate for her to pursue—get your barf bags ready (that is, if you don’t have them handy already!)!—a sexual relationship with her own son since she had been obsessing so much over her own son’s willy that she had been playing around with like a toy (again, get those barf bags close!) that she had been dreaming about it. Xaviera’s response (my paraphrasing) was that she should—of course!—pursue a non-familial relationship with a man she HADN’T given birth to. Hell, I could’ve told this woman that, couldn’t you? Anyway, Xaviera Hollander, who also wrote her very own sex advice column for Penthouse magazine appropriately-called “Call Me Madam,” was certainly a hell of a lot better at doling out sex advice than that feminized, publicity-seeking, self-righteous asshole Dr. Drew “I Hate the Shameless Exploitation of Celebrities Even Though I’m the Worst Offender!” Pinsky (and let’s not forget Dr. Phil “I Hate Women Doing Porn Even Though My Son Is Married To a Former Soft-Core Porn Model!” McGraw!)!
The Enjoyment of Amy
by John Colleton—This is probably one of the first “dirty” books I remember, uh-hum, reading in my household as a sex curious—well, sex crazed would probably be a more appropriate phrase!—youth and is so old—it was first published back in 1973—that about half of the pages have been chewed by what looks like either moths or maybe even rats. But even before one gets to, uh-hum, read the book, the cover shows a shapely woman sitting bare-assed on a sofa with her eyes shut and her head turned to the side and a sharply-dressed man whose face is not shown is standing behind said sofa and his crotch is strategically placed right beside the woman’s face. Subtle, isn’t it? And, remember, that’s just the cover! So you can just imagine how dirty the rest of the book is, can’t you, boys & girls?
Lady Davenport’s Slave
by J.T. Langdon—This is a full-on lesbian sex novel which was published by an Internet (ah, the Internet!) company called—and, no, I’m not making this up!—Pink Flamingo which is run by a woman who writes sexy bondage-oriented books herself under the name of Lizbeth Dusseau. As for this particular book, just to show you how truly dirty this book really is, there’s an unforgettable Thanksgiving scene where the “mistress” in the book named Myra is—how do I put this discreetly?—fucking her “slave” named Amber with a turkey leg and then for dessert smears pumpkin pie with whipped cream all over her hoo-hah and then . . . well, I think I’ll just let you use your imagination at this point, okay?
The Violation of Men
by Angel Ray—Another classic from Pink Flamingo, this novel is a collection of five short stories one even kinkier than the next. My own personal favorite: The Man Slave is a Deliverance-style yarn about a group of backwoods women who abduct, strap nude and spread-eagled to a bed and take turns raping—sometimes at gunpoint, sometimes not—a man (hence the “violation of men” title of the book). My second favorite story: Brendan’s Mom is a coming-of-age story—emphasis on the coming!—about an 18-year-old boy named Brendan who gets to boink his friend’s hot mom in perhaps the kinkiest ways imaginable; like, for instance, when Brendan gives his best bud’s mom, shall we say, anal pleasures and she makes him lick up his—again, shall we say—love juices. Gives new meaning to the phrase family values, doesn’t it?
Deliverance
by James Dickey—The Brokeback Mountain of its day, a lot of people probably don’t know that the, uh-hum, classic film starring Burt Reynolds and Jon “Karate Dog” Voight—who is, of course, Angelina Jolie’s dear old dad—was based on a book by author James Dickey (and, yes, the irony of his last name beginning with the word “dick” is certainly not lost on me!). And, yes, the psychotic hillbilly “gay” rape scene—in the film the rapee is played by Ned Beatty—is about as funny in the book as it is in the film (and I say “about as funny” since there is no “Yew got ah purty mouth on yew, boy!” or “Squeal like a pig!” lines in the book, for some strange reason).
Those Who Trespass
by Bill O’Reilly—Bill O’Reilly, for those of you who’ve been living under a rock these past number of years, is the top longwinded asshole on the Fox (Not) News Channel (and, given just how many long-winded assholes there are on the non-“news” channel, that’s really saying a lot!). Bill, as anyone who has the stomach to watch his insipid show knows, has had a field day going after artists whom he’s deemed a “subversive influence” on children such as his by-now-infamous boycott of Pepsi after they hired semi-controversial rapper Ludacris as their spokesperson (but, of course, said nothing when they “replaced” Ludacris with rocker Ozzy Osbourne, who once admittedly got so fucked up on drugs and/or alcohol that he actually tried to kill his beloved wife Sharon; but, then again, Ozzy was praised publicly by George W. Bush, so I guess in Bill’s mind that was okay). Anyway, Bill’s constant bitching about America’s moral decline spurned on by those “moral relativists” who run the entertainment industry in Hollywood is kind of weird when you consider that in 1998 he wrote this crime novel in which—and, again, I’m not making this up!—a 15-year-old crack whore gives a blowjob to her pimp named Robo who says to said teen crack whore, “Say, baby, put that pipe down and get my pipe up!”. Combine that scene with all the other sex scenes—e.g. an example of Bill’s, uh-hum, erotic prose: “Using a fair amount of pressure, he kissed her inner thighs, using his lips and tongue” (which, of course, begs the question what the hell else would he be using, his chin and elbows?!)—and/or murder scenes—e.g. one murder scene involves one person jamming a spoon through the roof of another person’s mouth and into their brain stem—along with various uses of the dreaded F word—which, of course, Bill goes after artists like Ludacris for using—and you got yourself one dirty book here! Also, if you can’t find a copy of the book, then might I suggest you give a listen to the audio version in which Bill reads his book verbatim, sex scenes and all. You’ll laugh till you cum (or puke, whichever the case may be!)! Guaranteed! (Note: Of course, saying this about Bill O’Reilly will probably get him pissed off enough to send one of this stalker producers—what Bill’O’s left-wing nemesis/fellow long-winded asshole Keith Olbermann rightfully calls them—after my ass, but that’s okay with me if he does. I mean, I could use the publicity! So how about it, Bill? Oh wait, I think I see Jesse Watters in my rearview mirror right about now!)
As if I haven’t said enough about the D-Bag already (and I call him D-Bag because in his sanctimoniously-titled book Culture Warrior, he continually refers to what he less-than-affectionately terms S.P.’s which stands for secular-progressives, whatever the hell that means!), here are a couple more things about Bill “The Almighty” O’Reilly: During his interview with former porn star Jenna Jameson (which you can probably find on YouTube), he called her a “slut” and a “whore” to her face and then later kindly referred to her as a “quasi-prostitute” after she had appeared in a shoe ad. However, according to Jenna in a couple of interviews, Bill “T-Warrior” O’Reilly (“T-Warrior” being another reference from his insipidly asinine book, the “T” standing for “traditionalist”; again, whatever the hell that means!) actually, uh-hum, requested to Jenna that she send him some of her videos, a charge, by the way, Bullshit Bill has never denied. But, then again, what more can you expect from a reputed falafel fetishist!
Bitter Fruit
by Roy B. Sparkia—This book, which I bought for next-to-nothing at a book sale in Springfield, Missouri, has got to be one of the most if not the most politically incorrect and fucked up books I have ever read. Sadism, lesbianism, incest, and even botched illegal abortions, there’s something for everyone in this book! The book is about a young woman named Melissa who uses her feminine wiles—and then some!—to get whatever she wants from anyone (and I, of course, do mean anyone!), which, of course, all severely backfires on her in the end (which, of course, you’ll have to read the book to find out how!). The following is an excerpt from page 100 of the book: “She was one of those rare ones who not only liked it, but had an inborn talent. Different from a whore who could go through skilled movements without liking it, without feeling. And different from the other extreme—the lover who gave it plenty of feeling but was clumsy at it. This one was a kind apart. She was like a Stradivari violin that could only give out rich tones, even in the hands of a lousy fiddler, because all of that feeling, all that emotionally generated expertise she was putting into her screwing was not for her partner, but for herself.” Need I say more?
The Man From O.R.G.Y.
& Dial “O” For O.R.G.Y. by Ted Mark—These books, which I bought again for next-to-nothing at a yard sale somewhere in Arkansas (I can’t remember where), are about a secret “sex” agent named Steve Victor who can make James Bond look like a celibate monk. However, you can’t easily dismiss these novels as merely trashy smut as they’re very well-researched as to their historical and cultural facts. Think Wikipedia meets Dear Penthouse—mixed in, of course, with a little James Bond—and you’ll get an idea of what these books are like reading. So, if you prefer your literary pornography mixed in with a little history lesson (that, of course, you DIDN’T get to learn in high school!), then these books are for you (if you can still find a copy of them, that is, since they were published in 1965 and 1973, respectfully). Too bad they never made films from these books, huh?
Christmas Cards From the Edge
by various authors—This book, which is one of the newer offerings on this list, contains three novellas from three different “chick lit” authors. The first one titled Return to Sender by Lisa Cach contains one of the most explicit, uh-hum, love scenes I have ever read in one of these books (and I have actually read a number of these so-called chick lit books, if you can again believe it). You might, of course, have a much better chance of finding a copy of this particular book since it was published not that long ago (in 2005, to be exact). And, for all you guys out there who would no doubt make fun of me for reading what are normally consider women’s books, all I have to say is if you want to know what your significant other really thinks of sex, just check out her naughty book collection, especially any of those “uber” hot Harlequin Blaze books; again, trust me, you WON’T be disappointed, plus you might win some brownie—as well as other—points from said significant other if she sees you reading the same type of books that she does, if you get my meaning, and I’m sure that you do!
Orgasmizer 9000 & Other Stories
by various authors—This book, also published in 2005, is another collection of three novellas (which, for those who aren’t literary-minded, is just a fancy way of saying extra-long short story) by three different female authors. And, yes, this is the actual title of the book, which is the reason why I had to get it when I first saw it in the ladies, uh-hum, romance section at, if I remember correctly, a Borders bookstore in again Springfield, Missouri (which, if I again recall correctly, the very same Borders bookstore where Sarah “Who’s Nailin’” Palin had one of her much-ballyhooed book signings). In any case, the title is from the third and final story in the collection titled Yar & the Orgasmizer 9000 written by Marie Morin that, while actually not as sexually explicit as the other two stories—Dream Warriors by Angelique Anjou and The Sexdroid by Jaide Fox, respectfully—would still make for a, shall we say, interesting movie. And, in case you haven’t already figured it out, all three stories are of the “sci-fi” persuasion, which, of course, just goes to show that not everyone who’s into science fiction is a geeky bespectacled virginal boy.
Xaviera’s Fantastic Sex
by Xaviera Hollander—Part sex guide, part sexual autobiography, this book was written by self-proclaimed “Happy Hooker” author, former prostitute and sex advice guru Xaviera Hollander. One of the most, shall we say, memorable parts of the book for me was the chapter titled “Xaviera’s Magic Mail” where Xaviera (and please don’t ask me how to pronounce her name, all right?) reprints a handful of letters she’d received up till then, and, in one of the letters Miss Hollander calls “Ball in the Family” (from the classic TV show All in the Family—get it?), a self-described “horny as hell” woman whose husband had been MIA (Missing in Action) in Vietnam has—how shall I put this discreetly?—inappropriate thoughts about her teenaged son which began after he, as she put it in the letter, “got a bad cut in his groin, right next to the scrotum” (ouch!) and she had to change his dressing daily and, as a result, she begins—again, how do I put this discreetly?—playing around with him. Anyway, the mother asks Xaviera if she felt it appropriate for her to pursue—get your barf bags ready (that is, if you don’t have them handy already!)!—a sexual relationship with her own son since she had been obsessing so much over her own son’s willy that she had been playing around with like a toy (again, get those barf bags close!) that she had been dreaming about it. Xaviera’s response (my paraphrasing) was that she should—of course!—pursue a non-familial relationship with a man she HADN’T given birth to. Hell, I could’ve told this woman that, couldn’t you? Anyway, Xaviera Hollander, who also wrote her very own sex advice column for Penthouse magazine appropriately-called “Call Me Madam,” was certainly a hell of a lot better at doling out sex advice than that feminized, publicity-seeking, self-righteous asshole Dr. Drew “I Hate the Shameless Exploitation of Celebrities Even Though I’m the Worst Offender!” Pinsky (and let’s not forget Dr. Phil “I Hate Women Doing Porn Even Though My Son Is Married To a Former Soft-Core Porn Model!” McGraw!)!
The Enjoyment of Amy
by John Colleton—This is probably one of the first “dirty” books I remember, uh-hum, reading in my household as a sex curious—well, sex crazed would probably be a more appropriate phrase!—youth and is so old—it was first published back in 1973—that about half of the pages have been chewed by what looks like either moths or maybe even rats. But even before one gets to, uh-hum, read the book, the cover shows a shapely woman sitting bare-assed on a sofa with her eyes shut and her head turned to the side and a sharply-dressed man whose face is not shown is standing behind said sofa and his crotch is strategically placed right beside the woman’s face. Subtle, isn’t it? And, remember, that’s just the cover! So you can just imagine how dirty the rest of the book is, can’t you, boys & girls?
Lady Davenport’s Slave
by J.T. Langdon—This is a full-on lesbian sex novel which was published by an Internet (ah, the Internet!) company called—and, no, I’m not making this up!—Pink Flamingo which is run by a woman who writes sexy bondage-oriented books herself under the name of Lizbeth Dusseau. As for this particular book, just to show you how truly dirty this book really is, there’s an unforgettable Thanksgiving scene where the “mistress” in the book named Myra is—how do I put this discreetly?—fucking her “slave” named Amber with a turkey leg and then for dessert smears pumpkin pie with whipped cream all over her hoo-hah and then . . . well, I think I’ll just let you use your imagination at this point, okay?
The Violation of Men
by Angel Ray—Another classic from Pink Flamingo, this novel is a collection of five short stories one even kinkier than the next. My own personal favorite: The Man Slave is a Deliverance-style yarn about a group of backwoods women who abduct, strap nude and spread-eagled to a bed and take turns raping—sometimes at gunpoint, sometimes not—a man (hence the “violation of men” title of the book). My second favorite story: Brendan’s Mom is a coming-of-age story—emphasis on the coming!—about an 18-year-old boy named Brendan who gets to boink his friend’s hot mom in perhaps the kinkiest ways imaginable; like, for instance, when Brendan gives his best bud’s mom, shall we say, anal pleasures and she makes him lick up his—again, shall we say—love juices. Gives new meaning to the phrase family values, doesn’t it?
Deliverance
by James Dickey—The Brokeback Mountain of its day, a lot of people probably don’t know that the, uh-hum, classic film starring Burt Reynolds and Jon “Karate Dog” Voight—who is, of course, Angelina Jolie’s dear old dad—was based on a book by author James Dickey (and, yes, the irony of his last name beginning with the word “dick” is certainly not lost on me!). And, yes, the psychotic hillbilly “gay” rape scene—in the film the rapee is played by Ned Beatty—is about as funny in the book as it is in the film (and I say “about as funny” since there is no “Yew got ah purty mouth on yew, boy!” or “Squeal like a pig!” lines in the book, for some strange reason).
Those Who Trespass
by Bill O’Reilly—Bill O’Reilly, for those of you who’ve been living under a rock these past number of years, is the top longwinded asshole on the Fox (Not) News Channel (and, given just how many long-winded assholes there are on the non-“news” channel, that’s really saying a lot!). Bill, as anyone who has the stomach to watch his insipid show knows, has had a field day going after artists whom he’s deemed a “subversive influence” on children such as his by-now-infamous boycott of Pepsi after they hired semi-controversial rapper Ludacris as their spokesperson (but, of course, said nothing when they “replaced” Ludacris with rocker Ozzy Osbourne, who once admittedly got so fucked up on drugs and/or alcohol that he actually tried to kill his beloved wife Sharon; but, then again, Ozzy was praised publicly by George W. Bush, so I guess in Bill’s mind that was okay). Anyway, Bill’s constant bitching about America’s moral decline spurned on by those “moral relativists” who run the entertainment industry in Hollywood is kind of weird when you consider that in 1998 he wrote this crime novel in which—and, again, I’m not making this up!—a 15-year-old crack whore gives a blowjob to her pimp named Robo who says to said teen crack whore, “Say, baby, put that pipe down and get my pipe up!”. Combine that scene with all the other sex scenes—e.g. an example of Bill’s, uh-hum, erotic prose: “Using a fair amount of pressure, he kissed her inner thighs, using his lips and tongue” (which, of course, begs the question what the hell else would he be using, his chin and elbows?!)—and/or murder scenes—e.g. one murder scene involves one person jamming a spoon through the roof of another person’s mouth and into their brain stem—along with various uses of the dreaded F word—which, of course, Bill goes after artists like Ludacris for using—and you got yourself one dirty book here! Also, if you can’t find a copy of the book, then might I suggest you give a listen to the audio version in which Bill reads his book verbatim, sex scenes and all. You’ll laugh till you cum (or puke, whichever the case may be!)! Guaranteed! (Note: Of course, saying this about Bill O’Reilly will probably get him pissed off enough to send one of this stalker producers—what Bill’O’s left-wing nemesis/fellow long-winded asshole Keith Olbermann rightfully calls them—after my ass, but that’s okay with me if he does. I mean, I could use the publicity! So how about it, Bill? Oh wait, I think I see Jesse Watters in my rearview mirror right about now!)
As if I haven’t said enough about the D-Bag already (and I call him D-Bag because in his sanctimoniously-titled book Culture Warrior, he continually refers to what he less-than-affectionately terms S.P.’s which stands for secular-progressives, whatever the hell that means!), here are a couple more things about Bill “The Almighty” O’Reilly: During his interview with former porn star Jenna Jameson (which you can probably find on YouTube), he called her a “slut” and a “whore” to her face and then later kindly referred to her as a “quasi-prostitute” after she had appeared in a shoe ad. However, according to Jenna in a couple of interviews, Bill “T-Warrior” O’Reilly (“T-Warrior” being another reference from his insipidly asinine book, the “T” standing for “traditionalist”; again, whatever the hell that means!) actually, uh-hum, requested to Jenna that she send him some of her videos, a charge, by the way, Bullshit Bill has never denied. But, then again, what more can you expect from a reputed falafel fetishist!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Ariel Rebel - Topless Beach at AmateurIndex.com
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Monday, October 22, 2012
Dead Porn Stars Memorial
This video was produced by the Pink Cross Foundation whose stated "goal" is to stop people from viewing and/or "acting" in porn. And they're apparently NOT above guilt-tripping people into achieving that rather dubious goal by putting out (pardon the pun!) videos like this. Granted, some of the porn stars listed have apparently not been the most, shall we say, emotionally stable people on the planet. But, the question remains, was it porn which caused their--again, shall we say--emotional instability or were they "emotional unstable" in spite of their career choice? I mean, John Holmes and all of his "problems" extended far beyond his time in the porn industry (just Google him and/or look him up on Wikipedia and you'll see what I mean!)! Also, there have also been a number of suicides and murders and drug abuse and whatnot in "mainstream" entertainment (Lindsay Lohan, are you listening?). Would Pink Cross or any other similar organization put out a video showing all the "mainstream" celebrities who've met similar tragic fates and say that people should stop "enjoying" so-called mainstream entertainment? Another thing that "got" to me about this video was, why is it that those former porn stars who've died in car accidents--such as nineties porn star Anna Malle (who, by the way, I've never known to have ever criticized her time in the porn industry)--were likewise included in this video? Missy--who was another porn star from the nineties--actually "retired" from the porn industry back in 2001 and became a "born-again Christian" after suffering a "nervous breakdown" and died from an "accidental" prescription drug overdose which was apparently NOT intentional. Well, Pink Cross?
HOW TO GET YOUR GAL INTO PORN
You know the story by now: Your girlfriend or wife just happens to be cleaning your den or one of your private rooms--or man cave, if you will--and she “accidentally” finds your hidden stash of X-rated movies. Of course, she gets all pissed off and belligerent and tells you to get rid of all your beloved porno videos. Sometimes she even gives you an ultimatum: “Either the videos go or I go!” And guess what usually goes (hint: it’s not your woman!)? But sometimes, with a little coaxing—and a lot of luck!—you may be able to talk her into watching at least one blue movie with you to see whether or not you can get her into watching—and even liking—porn movies hopefully as much as you’re into watching—and liking—them. That way not only can you keep from having to throw them out but maybe even from time to time enjoy watching one with your wife or girlfriend. However, before you pop that video into the DVD player (or, for those who are old school, the VCR!), there are some things that you should take into consideration. I mean, you can’t just have her watch any old porn movie, especially if the woman in your life has been raised to believe that all pornography is “degrading towards women” and/or she only has sex with you “whenever she feels like it”—i.e. when she doesn’t have one of her damned headaches!—with all the lights in the bedroom turned off and she only lets you do it in the missionary position. If this is the case, then a video like The Girls of Splash Mountain: California Cocksuckers 3 is usually not a good choice for a woman’s first X-rated viewing experience. You need to be a bit more selective in choosing a video for her to watch with you since, after all, the video that you choose for her to watch may very well be the deciding factor as to whether or not she stays with your perverted ass (if you don’t do her bidding and throw out your video collection, that is!)! First of all, there are some porn actors and even a few porn actresses you might want to avoid. In the actor category, two actors you should avoid like the plague are Max :”Hardcore” Steiner and Ron “Hedgehog” Jeremy. Max Steiner--who was sentenced to a couple of years in federal prison in (where else!) Texas after being convicted on “obscenity” charges--first appeared in more “mainstream” porno fare before releasing his own videos through his company Filmwest Productions under the moniker Max Hardcore. Mad Max is often so rough with the actresses he has sex with on-camera that many porn actresses refuse to work with him. He literally stretches pussies and assholes to their limit before he pounds the women’s asses with his cock as hard as he can and then comes loads on their faces. Sometimes he even simulates rape scenes in his videos. They’re not real rape scenes, of course, but they’re “realistic” enough to not only scare your woman off but make her file a restraining order on you! As for Ron Jeremy, well, they don’t call him “Hedgehog” for nothing (no offense, Hedgehog!)!
Other porn actors you might want to avoid are Italian porn stud Rocco Siffredi and the late John “14-inch” Holmes. The reason why is because these two men are—or, in Holmes’ case, were—much more, shall we say, blessed than the average male. (And do I have to say anything about the African-American porn actors?) Remember, the goal here is to get your lover turned on but not make yourself look inadequate to her in the process (or as less inadequate as possible given the fact that porn actors can last a bit longer than your average male, which, of course, could most likely explain why you generally see the same ten guys in practically every porno flick!).
There are also certain porno actresses you should also try to avoid. A prime example of this would be Sasha Grey, who’s arguably one of the most if not the most popular porno actress nowadays in spite of the fact that she’s currently “retired” from the so-called jizz bizz and has since done more “mainstream“ acting work (like, for instance, she had a starring role in the film The Girlfriend Experience and had a recurring role in the TV show Entourage as--who else!--herself). In spite of her girl-next-door type looks (albeit a more sexier version thereof!), Sasha has done probably just about every nasty, filthy, perverted, and downright demented sex act imaginable on-camera (which is, of course, why we guys love her so much!). For instance, in one film I, uh-hum, watched of hers, she was gang-banging about a dozen guys where, among many other things, she sticks a guy’s foot up her hoo-hah and . . . well, I don’t need to go into anymore detail, do I? In another fuck flick of hers, a guy was doing her doggie-style while he was stepping on the side of her face (for the record, I’m not into the whole stepping-on-a-gal’s-face thing, but then, that’s just me!). In yet another flick of hers I, uh-hum, watched, in a porno appropriately-titled Squirt Gangbang, Sasha has about a half-dozen of her fellow porno actresses “squirt” all over her (again, I don’t need to go any detail, do I?).
As for other videos to avoid, be wary of any video put out by any company called Angel, e.g. Erotic Angel, Elegant Angel and Evil Angel. Though they may have the word “angel” in their company titles, the videos they release are anything but angelic! Another type of video to avoid is the so-called gonzo video. These videos feature little plot and a whole lot of sex, usually of the depraved and/or kinky variety. Yet another type of video to avoid is the “all-girl” or “girl/girl” video. It’s all right if there’s a girl/girl scene in the video you select for your lady to watch since, of course, about 99.9 ½ % of all porn movies feature at least one lesbian scene and can also appeal to her “bi-curious” side. But, if you make her watch one of these videos, she might just make you watch a gay male porn video out of sheer spite. So, unless you’re a little bi-curious yourself, I don’t think this is a chance you’d want to take, do you? Of course, if you want to truly know how to please a woman in bed, “girl/girl” videos are a good way to find out. And—of course!—I don’t mean watch just any old lesbian video as there are a number of “all-girl” videos released by lesbian-themed companies that feature (usually) “real” lesbians having “real” lesbian sex, e.g. The L Factor, Sweetheart Video and the—and, no, I’m not making this up!—award-winning Australian X-rated lesbian company Abby Winters are a good source of girl-on-girl viewing if you truly want to know what gets a woman off. I mean, let’s face facts, guys, it usually takes more—sometimes a hell of a lot more!—to satisfy a woman during lovemaking than just giving her the old heave-ho, you know what I mean?
Still yet another type of video to a void is any video that has a young-looking girl on the box cover. And by young-looking I mean girls who look like they’ve just graduated from high school (or maybe even still in high school!). Think Hustler’s Barely Legal series and you’ll get the idea I’m driving at. Guys, don’t let those innocent smiles on those covers fool you. These young ladies—and, again, I use the term “ladies” loosely!—do things in these movies that you only dreamt about in high school (and a few things you didn’t!)! As for any specific young-looking porn stars you should avoid, there’s Kitty and Amai Liu. Kitty, who sometimes goes by the moniker Little Kitty or Lil‘ Miss Kitty, is an Asian porn star who looks—and even sounds—like she’s barely 11 or 12 years old if even that old (and anyone who’s ever seen her movies definitely knows what I’m talking about!). Amai Liu, who sometimes goes by the moniker Tiny Tabby, is an Hawaiian porn starlet who also looks—and sounds—about as “young” as Kitty. So avoid any movies starring Kitty a.k.a. Little Kitty a.k.a Lil’ Miss Kitty and Amai Liu a.k.a. Tiny Tabby even though they’re both definitely legal (Kitty even has a pierced punani), or your significant other might just think you’d be a good candidate for To Catch a Predator, if you know what I mean (and I’m, course, quite sure that you do!)! Still yet other sex vids you might wish to avoid are any vids with the words “gang” or “bang” anywhere in the title along with clowns, midgets, bukkake, freaks, creampies (and by “creampies“ I‘m definitely not talking about the kind that Grandma used to make!), you get the idea. Not exactly what you’d call good date movies, if you know what I mean!
And, lastly, the final type of video to avoid in choosing one for your sweetie to watch is what I call the “big boob” videos. Here are some examples of big boob videos (actual titles of actual videos): Booby Prize, Mammary Lane, Gazongo, Bodacious Ta-Tas, you get the picture. Also avoid big boobed porn actresses with names like Christy Canyon, Whitney Wonders, Wendy Whoppers, Letha Weapons, and former California governor hopeful Mary Carey (also of Dr. Drew fame!). As you might’ve guessed, those aren’t their Christian names! Just like you don’t want to look inadequate to her, she definitely doesn’t want to look inadequate to you. A good rule-of-thumb is if the actress on the cover has noticeably bigger juggs than your sweetie, then don’t make her watch it, all right, guys? Another good rule-of-thumb is to fast-forward through all those phone-sex ads at the beginning of every video before letting your woman see them since they a lot of times show stuff that’s a lot kinkier than the content of the actual video! And, whatever you do (and I can’t stress this enough!), don’t--I repeat!--DON’T just simply download one of those “free” porno scenes from one of those “free” porno sites for her to watch!
Now that I’ve told you what kinds of videos to steer clear of, here is a list of videos that are what I call “female friendly“. There’s a growing niche market of “high-end” or “romance-oriented” adult fare--also known as “vanilla porn”--targeted at couples that focuses as much on plot as it does on sex (and, no, you won’t see a guy’s foot shoved up a woman’s hoo-hah!). Mainstream companies--well, “mainstream” for porno companies!--like Vivid and Wicked put out a number of these titles, but, of course, they also release a number of the other type of the more hardcore titles. A good rule-of-thumb would be if the couple on the DVD cover resembles the covers on, say, Harlequin Blaze novels, then you’re probably safe. (Of course, another good rule-of-thumb is to view the flick before you let your significant other view it.)
Well, there you have it, my suggestions for what movies to see—and which ones to avoid—if you want to get your significant other interested in porn. Of course, there are lots of women out there who openly admit to getting off on porn, including the raunchy stuff. In fact, a number of statistics and polls have shown that nearly 50% of all people who rent and/or buy porno videos and/or surf the Web for porn are in fact women. However, as there are women who actually like pornography, there are still a good number of women nowadays who wouldn’t admit to liking porn no matter what. But, guys, don’t despair; if your current girlfriend insists she hates porn and leaves you because you won’t stop looking at it and getting off on it, you could very well find a woman who’ll like porn even as much as you do, perhaps even more so! And if, in fact, you do find such a woman (since, like I said, a good number of women seemingly do get off watching porn!), consider yourself blessed.
Other porn actors you might want to avoid are Italian porn stud Rocco Siffredi and the late John “14-inch” Holmes. The reason why is because these two men are—or, in Holmes’ case, were—much more, shall we say, blessed than the average male. (And do I have to say anything about the African-American porn actors?) Remember, the goal here is to get your lover turned on but not make yourself look inadequate to her in the process (or as less inadequate as possible given the fact that porn actors can last a bit longer than your average male, which, of course, could most likely explain why you generally see the same ten guys in practically every porno flick!).
There are also certain porno actresses you should also try to avoid. A prime example of this would be Sasha Grey, who’s arguably one of the most if not the most popular porno actress nowadays in spite of the fact that she’s currently “retired” from the so-called jizz bizz and has since done more “mainstream“ acting work (like, for instance, she had a starring role in the film The Girlfriend Experience and had a recurring role in the TV show Entourage as--who else!--herself). In spite of her girl-next-door type looks (albeit a more sexier version thereof!), Sasha has done probably just about every nasty, filthy, perverted, and downright demented sex act imaginable on-camera (which is, of course, why we guys love her so much!). For instance, in one film I, uh-hum, watched of hers, she was gang-banging about a dozen guys where, among many other things, she sticks a guy’s foot up her hoo-hah and . . . well, I don’t need to go into anymore detail, do I? In another fuck flick of hers, a guy was doing her doggie-style while he was stepping on the side of her face (for the record, I’m not into the whole stepping-on-a-gal’s-face thing, but then, that’s just me!). In yet another flick of hers I, uh-hum, watched, in a porno appropriately-titled Squirt Gangbang, Sasha has about a half-dozen of her fellow porno actresses “squirt” all over her (again, I don’t need to go any detail, do I?).
As for other videos to avoid, be wary of any video put out by any company called Angel, e.g. Erotic Angel, Elegant Angel and Evil Angel. Though they may have the word “angel” in their company titles, the videos they release are anything but angelic! Another type of video to avoid is the so-called gonzo video. These videos feature little plot and a whole lot of sex, usually of the depraved and/or kinky variety. Yet another type of video to avoid is the “all-girl” or “girl/girl” video. It’s all right if there’s a girl/girl scene in the video you select for your lady to watch since, of course, about 99.9 ½ % of all porn movies feature at least one lesbian scene and can also appeal to her “bi-curious” side. But, if you make her watch one of these videos, she might just make you watch a gay male porn video out of sheer spite. So, unless you’re a little bi-curious yourself, I don’t think this is a chance you’d want to take, do you? Of course, if you want to truly know how to please a woman in bed, “girl/girl” videos are a good way to find out. And—of course!—I don’t mean watch just any old lesbian video as there are a number of “all-girl” videos released by lesbian-themed companies that feature (usually) “real” lesbians having “real” lesbian sex, e.g. The L Factor, Sweetheart Video and the—and, no, I’m not making this up!—award-winning Australian X-rated lesbian company Abby Winters are a good source of girl-on-girl viewing if you truly want to know what gets a woman off. I mean, let’s face facts, guys, it usually takes more—sometimes a hell of a lot more!—to satisfy a woman during lovemaking than just giving her the old heave-ho, you know what I mean?
Still yet another type of video to a void is any video that has a young-looking girl on the box cover. And by young-looking I mean girls who look like they’ve just graduated from high school (or maybe even still in high school!). Think Hustler’s Barely Legal series and you’ll get the idea I’m driving at. Guys, don’t let those innocent smiles on those covers fool you. These young ladies—and, again, I use the term “ladies” loosely!—do things in these movies that you only dreamt about in high school (and a few things you didn’t!)! As for any specific young-looking porn stars you should avoid, there’s Kitty and Amai Liu. Kitty, who sometimes goes by the moniker Little Kitty or Lil‘ Miss Kitty, is an Asian porn star who looks—and even sounds—like she’s barely 11 or 12 years old if even that old (and anyone who’s ever seen her movies definitely knows what I’m talking about!). Amai Liu, who sometimes goes by the moniker Tiny Tabby, is an Hawaiian porn starlet who also looks—and sounds—about as “young” as Kitty. So avoid any movies starring Kitty a.k.a. Little Kitty a.k.a Lil’ Miss Kitty and Amai Liu a.k.a. Tiny Tabby even though they’re both definitely legal (Kitty even has a pierced punani), or your significant other might just think you’d be a good candidate for To Catch a Predator, if you know what I mean (and I’m, course, quite sure that you do!)! Still yet other sex vids you might wish to avoid are any vids with the words “gang” or “bang” anywhere in the title along with clowns, midgets, bukkake, freaks, creampies (and by “creampies“ I‘m definitely not talking about the kind that Grandma used to make!), you get the idea. Not exactly what you’d call good date movies, if you know what I mean!
And, lastly, the final type of video to avoid in choosing one for your sweetie to watch is what I call the “big boob” videos. Here are some examples of big boob videos (actual titles of actual videos): Booby Prize, Mammary Lane, Gazongo, Bodacious Ta-Tas, you get the picture. Also avoid big boobed porn actresses with names like Christy Canyon, Whitney Wonders, Wendy Whoppers, Letha Weapons, and former California governor hopeful Mary Carey (also of Dr. Drew fame!). As you might’ve guessed, those aren’t their Christian names! Just like you don’t want to look inadequate to her, she definitely doesn’t want to look inadequate to you. A good rule-of-thumb is if the actress on the cover has noticeably bigger juggs than your sweetie, then don’t make her watch it, all right, guys? Another good rule-of-thumb is to fast-forward through all those phone-sex ads at the beginning of every video before letting your woman see them since they a lot of times show stuff that’s a lot kinkier than the content of the actual video! And, whatever you do (and I can’t stress this enough!), don’t--I repeat!--DON’T just simply download one of those “free” porno scenes from one of those “free” porno sites for her to watch!
Now that I’ve told you what kinds of videos to steer clear of, here is a list of videos that are what I call “female friendly“. There’s a growing niche market of “high-end” or “romance-oriented” adult fare--also known as “vanilla porn”--targeted at couples that focuses as much on plot as it does on sex (and, no, you won’t see a guy’s foot shoved up a woman’s hoo-hah!). Mainstream companies--well, “mainstream” for porno companies!--like Vivid and Wicked put out a number of these titles, but, of course, they also release a number of the other type of the more hardcore titles. A good rule-of-thumb would be if the couple on the DVD cover resembles the covers on, say, Harlequin Blaze novels, then you’re probably safe. (Of course, another good rule-of-thumb is to view the flick before you let your significant other view it.)
Well, there you have it, my suggestions for what movies to see—and which ones to avoid—if you want to get your significant other interested in porn. Of course, there are lots of women out there who openly admit to getting off on porn, including the raunchy stuff. In fact, a number of statistics and polls have shown that nearly 50% of all people who rent and/or buy porno videos and/or surf the Web for porn are in fact women. However, as there are women who actually like pornography, there are still a good number of women nowadays who wouldn’t admit to liking porn no matter what. But, guys, don’t despair; if your current girlfriend insists she hates porn and leaves you because you won’t stop looking at it and getting off on it, you could very well find a woman who’ll like porn even as much as you do, perhaps even more so! And if, in fact, you do find such a woman (since, like I said, a good number of women seemingly do get off watching porn!), consider yourself blessed.
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